What is a Stressful Thought?
- Yona Dan
- May 14, 2021
- 2 min read
Byron Katie is not the first person to come up with the idea that our suffering is caused by our thinking. Many ancient thinkers and modern psychologists alike have expressed very similar if not identical concepts. However, what I find to be uniquely helpful are her ideas about why our thinking causes us to suffer and what we can do about it.
According to Byron Katie, our thoughts cause us suffering when they are in conflict with what is actually happening in reality. Examples of such thoughts are:
'He shouldn’t dress like that that.'
'I should be more organized.'
'People shouldn't drive slowly in the passing lane.'
When we have thoughts like these, Byron Katie would describe this as ‘mentally arguing’ with reality. These thoughts that argue with reality are what she considers to be “stressful thoughts”.
How do I know if I'm having a stressful thought?
We tend to think of stress as referring to the feeling of being busy and under pressure, as in ‘I’m so stressed out about how I'm going to meet that deadline’. Byron Katie uses the word stress to refer to any and all of the painful emotions we experience, such as sadness, anger, frustration, fear, panic, etc. So, stressful thoughts are the ones that arouse any kind of emotional pain, as well as the tension that we normally associate with the word 'stress'.
Stressful thoughts are also often accompanied by uncomfortable physical sensations, such as shallow or restricted breathing, our stomach tightening, heart sinking, or any other kind of physical pain.
The presence of emotional and/or physical pain can therefore be powerful flags to us that we are having a stressful thought.
Believe Me, Believe Me Not
In order for a thought to become stressful, we need to believe it. Byron Katie calls this 'attaching' to a thought. The corollary for this is also true: just as we suffer when we believe a thought that argues with reality, we can alleviate and transform that suffering when we do the opposite of believing that thought—by investigating it. That is the goal of the Work: to investigate previously unquestioned thoughts.
The four questions of The Work, also known as 'Inquiry', offer a uniquely powerful tool in accomplishing this investigation of and detachment from our stressful thoughts. I believe that this is why Eckhart Tolle describes The Work as "the how of enlightenment".
Comments